Learning to Embrace Who I Am Today

In just a few short weeks I will hit the big 27! Twenty seven!! Holy cow, I used to think that was so old. I don't feel old, but then it hits me when I run into former preschool students I taught and they are in mid school! When I was younger I thought I had a plan and knew where my life would be. I was totally wrong. My life now is nothing like the planned life I once dreamed of. I thought for sure I would be teaching young minds, wearing heels, having a toned body, traveling the world during summer break, and falling madly in love with my prince charming (that part actually happened), oh and being a mommy. God knows being a mommy was at the top of that list and I'm proud to say that that actually happened too! My life isn't exactly where I thought it would be, but in so many ways it is better than I could have ever imagined. The last three years of my life have been the best years of my life. For one, I married my best friend and also was blessed with the most amazing gift from God, my little boy.

I chose a new path once my son was born. A path I never thought I would, but one that I am learning to embrace. I chose to put my teaching dream on hold for a bit in order to raise my son and although I miss teaching and financial stability at times, I know it was the best decision I have ever made. Ever since baby wearing heels only happens on special occasions and then I spend the next day complaining. The toned body that I used to complain about (yes the college me used to think I was fat at a stinkin' size 2! Oh to be that 2 again) is gone. Having a baby isn't so easy on bodies! I am critical on myself on a good day so gaining 37lbs was not the greatest experience of my life. I lost all my baby weight fast, but things are NOT the same and some things are not where they used to be! The jiggle isn't so fun either, but I am trying my best to embrace my new size 6 (which I have to keep reminding myself isn't bad at all) curves and not beat myself up for enjoying some sugar or skipping a workout. I read a blog a few days ago that really inspired me. She was talking about body after baby and how she has learned to embrace it. One quote really struck a cord with me "The love handles on my back represent the times I chose to enjoy ice cream with my family". I usually feel guilty for eating dessert, but I love it and believe me dieting Melinda is not a nice person. I would rather enjoy my time and have the damn ice cream every once in a while than miss out on fun times with my boys for fear of an extra pound. Now, I am not saying I'm letting go of all control. Do I want falt abs, yes, but am I going to make myself and my family miserable to get them no. I'll do my best and work hard, but still enjoy my life and view workouts as fun and something I want to do instead of something I am forcing myself to do. There are many times when I look in the mirror and feel disgusted or down on myself. I am trying my best to look at those imperfections and turn them into a positive. When I see the stretch marks on my belly I try to remind myself of the miracle that I grew in my belly. They are proof of what I accomplished and the blessing of life. My surgery scar that is not fading in color (I mean it's purple and gross) is a reminder of the lengths I went to in order bring our next child into the world as safely as possible. My not so perky boobs remind me of the nutrients that my son received for 18 months (now someday those will be fixed. Been saving my change haha).

I have never traveled the world, heck I can count the states I've been to on one hand. I did get to experience the big city this summer and liked it, but prefer good old New Mexico! We may not be world travelers, but my husband knows our state like the back of his hand from all of his years hunting and has taken me to some beautiful places that I didn't even know existed!

My life now is different than the one I dreamed up when I was 18 and will probably be nothing like what I imagine it will be in ten years. I am thankful for the experiences that have made me who I am. I am so happy that my "first love" broke my heart. If he hadn't I would've never met Morgan and wouldn't be watching my baby boy sleep right now. I am happy that I let go and let God lead me down the path that he has. Sometimes I question the path that I am on. Am I making the right choices? Am I good enough? I play the what if game. Sometimes I question God and the path he has sent me on. I question "why me?" But, ultimately I have to embrace the here and now and know it's all part of a bigger plan. I have to let go. I may not be a size two, not everyone will like me, I can't please everyone all the time without making myself crazy in the process, I may not have a ton of money. My clothes isn't the trendyist as I choose to recycle my wardrobe so that I can spend my money on my boy. I am embracing that fact that I have and will make many more mistakes on this motherhood journey. I have decided to be the best me I can for the remainder of 26 and learn to love and embrace myself, mind, body, everything in my 27th year. I need to find my faith again and live my life for God and my family and embrace the journey that is set for me with open arms.

My Special Date

Morgan has been working crazy hours lately because of very tight deadlines. We haven't seen much of each other in past couple of weeks which has been hard on both of us. My husband has the biggest heart sometimes though. Last Wednesday, after working a 10 hour day, he got a call from a friend who's mom lives with 2 other very elderly women about some electrical problems. One of the ladies was on oxygen so electricity that was iffy was not a good thing. Morgan rushed over and temporarily fixed it until he could get to it the next day. When he got home he surprised me and asked if I wanted to have a picnic date with him and our little man. I of course said yes! I heard him rustling through the fridge and soon we headed out to the perfect spot. We drove for about 45 minutes and were in the middle of nowhere without a soul in sight and looking at an amazing view. I love New Mexico for the simple fact that you don't have to go far to feel alone.  Morgan uses this spot for target practicing and actually took my dad and brother there to shoot when he asked my dad to marry me (gutsy guy, but shows his manly side haha). 

Beautiful view

Morgan fired up the hibachi grill and put steaks on for us! Not bad for a picnic in the middle of nowhere! He grilled me a t-bone and himself an oryx steak. I'm not big on wild game, but it was actually really good!

The little man dined on mac n cheese laced in a little dirt (Morgan saying is "God made dirt, so dirt don't hurt"). I went with it because he seemed to really enjoy it.

Now most people wouldn't think of this a date or even a very good date, but it was the best date I've been on in a very long time. I was with the two people I love the most in this world, eating a delicious meal, and taking in the most beautiful sunset. Watching Tanner chase bugs and copying everything his daddy did was  the best entertainment. Wednesday night was better than any fancy shmancy place Morgan could have taken me.

My two loves! This was actually really high and gave this momma a slight heart attack!

  I love how simple things can mean so much. I love when he surprises me like this and it makes me fall even more in love with him, if that is possible!

Tanner's 2nd Birthday Party

Last weekend we celebrated Tanner's 2nd birthday! Last year we did the huge, invite everyone party. We both have huge families so it was a wedding reception sized event. This year we wanted to keep it a little more low key and less stressful. We had our parents and close friends over for a BBQ and swimming fun for the kiddos! It was perfect!!! We had such a great time and are so blessed to have so many people, family and friends, who love our little boy.

Here are some of the highlights of the day!



I still can't believe my baby is 2!



The party favors and flowers from our garden

The tractor cake and oh my it was good!

We set up a kiddie pool for the little ones and before any of us had time to put actual suits on our kids, they were in. We dubbed it Diaper Derby 2012.  They had a blast and everyone got along!

Hello. Anyone there?





"Gunkle" Tony hanging with the boys!

 Present opening was interesting this year.  Tanner was so excited and wanted to open and start playing with everything right away! The other kiddos were also very excited about helping him open his gifts which was fine with me cause I got a break! Tanner made out like a bandit! He is fully stocked on cars and tractors and even got his favorite movie Cars!

Books!!!

What's in here Braylon!

Morgan had a good time too being the human jungle gym!

This has to be my favorite picture of the day! Braylon pulling a sag! To say he enjoyed himself is an understatment! He is jus too cute!

All in all we had a fabulous day! My son's smile made the whole day even more special! My heart is a little sad as I realize how fast the last two years have gone by! I pray for many, many more special days with my boy! 

Happy Birthday T!

Best Friends

Most kids have something special that they like to carry around, snuggle with, or play with. Most of the time it's a blanket, maybe a stuffed animal, or special toy. Well, my kiddo has a new best friend. It's not a blanket or a stuffie. Nope, it's an old, ugly, made for scaring birds away, OWL! A huge, actual size owl. He found it at my parents house and plays with it while we visit. He takes it for rides in the wheel barrel, on the tractor, and it sits and watches him as he plays in their yard. Well, my dad had the genius idea to bring it to my house for Tanner's bday (ya know best friends must be together on special days).  Tanner carried it around and even put it in the kiddie pool with him. All day Sunday the owl accompanied us in every room, watched Cars, and even sat at the table while we ate dinner. I got up to pee last night and about screamed when I saw it's shadow on the wall. I told Tanner that owl missed living in the country and that we would visit him at Papa's house from now on. Our talk seemed to work until it came time to take owl out of the car.  My son screamed and cried for "fend owl" aka friend owl!  I couldn't bear the thought of the screams all the way home so you guessed it, owl came home with us! I will sneak that thing back down to my dad's, how that will happen is still unknown!  So if you see a kid in a car clutching a huge plastic, realistic looking owl, that would be my kid!

Reunited and it feels so good. .

All About Me. . .

I saw this on a blog that I read and thought it looked like fun and my little guy is on one of his marathon naps and bordem has set in!


1. How long have you been blogging? And what got you started on blogging? Has your blog changed?
I have been blogging for a little over a year. I started it to document Tanner's life and for friends and family who live away from us to keep up on our happenings! My blog hasn't changed much. It is just a snapshot of my life as a stay at home mom, wife, and everything in between. 
2. Did you go to college? If so where, and what did you study?
I attended the University of New Mexico and studied elementary education and got my minor in history.
3. Where have you traveled?
I wish I could say that we were world travelers, but sadly I am not. I have only been to a handful of places in the good old USofA! Most recently being Chicago which I loved!

4. If you won the lottery, what would be the first thing you would buy?
The first thing I would buy is a house on a few acres in Corrales! I grew up there and miss it so much! It's the perfect combination of country and city! I dream of living on a farm with horses, cows, chickens, like I did growing up. Then I would get Morgan his dream truck and pay off the mortgages/bills of our family members.
5. What are your 3 biggest pet peeves?
* A dirty house! I hate when my house is dirty and it is happening a lot more often with a toddler living here!
* Mail on the kitchen counter! Put the crap away (Morgan)!
* People who either don't use blinkers or who keep them on for miles! Guess I'm not happy either way haha!
6. What is your favorite movie?
The Notebook
7. What is your drink of choice; wine, beer, or liquor. Or Water, Soda, Tea?
I wish I could say water, but I love tea! Then it would be coke. I'm trying with the water thing though!
8. What is something you enjoy to do when you have me time?
I love driving with the music turned up with no where to go!
9. If you could have a $10,000 shopping spree to one store, which store would it be?
Dillards! They have my favorite makeup, amazing shoes, and the dress I've been dreaming of/saving for. Not to mention new purses and cute things for the kiddo.
10. Share with us an embarrassing moment of your past? Or present.
Ugh, I still have issues with this one. When I was having my tvc (cerix sewn shut) when I was 20 weeks pregnant I saw the hottest doctor! I told my hubby that he was my Mcdreamy! Well surgery started and my legs were pulled up and I looked like a rotissore chicken. When surgery was done and curtain came down guess who was standing and watching? Yup, Mcdreamy! Come to find out he was a resident and our hospital has to be a darn teaching one! I was mortified and hoping I had groomed well enough!
11. What day would you love to relive again?
Definitely my wedding day. Everything is a blur. It was so beautiful, but I wish I could have just taken it in a bit more. One thing I wish I could go back and do is taking a picture with my Mema who we lost a year after our wedding. I don't have a picture with her and that breaks my heart.

12. If your life was turned into a movie...what actor would play you?
Mila Kunis. Wishful thinking mainly because I wish I looked like her!
13. What are the jobs you had in high school/college/the early years?
I always pretty much knew I wanted to be a teacher, so my senior year I began working at a preschool and stayed there until my last semester of college when I had to student teach full time.
14. Show us a picture from high school or college.



This was sometime in colleg during our Vegas spring break trip with Erin, Rissa, and their guys (now hubbies)!

 15. If you could travel anywhere in the world, all expenses paid, where would you go?
I've always wanted to see Italy, especially the Vatacan. If I had my pre baby body and no stretch marks, I would love to go to on  beach vacation, maybe Bora Bora, or The Virgin Islands?
16. Show us the most current picture of you or you, or your family, or anything of meaning to you

This is the most recent of me and the hubs enjoying sunny Chicago.

This is old, but my most memorable picture!

And my favorite family pic!

17. Where do you see your life five years from now?
I hope to be more financilly stable, maybe have a part time job and Morgan being able to become a contractor like he has wanted to be for a while. Hopefully maybe have one or two more kiddos running around, and a couple new cars, maybe a bigger house wouldn't hurt. Most of all I just hope we are happy and have our health and our families by our side.

What We've Been Up To Lately

I just realized that I hadn't posted a blog since the 4th of July. We have been having so much fun and everyday as I am doing dishes I think of blogs that I could write, but it just seems like there are never enough hours in the day, especially when you have a wild almost two year old in the house!

Summer started out slow as I was still recovering from surgery, but six weeks post op and I am finally feeling great and our summer fun has finally begun!  I am having such a blast this year with Tanner. He is at such a cool age and understands the world around him so much more! He is a talking machine and I love all the new things he comes up with! He is such a goofy kid and will do anything for a laugh! I am going to have the class clown that annoys teachers, just my luck!

Since mommy is feeling better, we have gotten out of the house a little more the past couple of weeks. We have been walking with a great friend of mine and reconnecting with her has been so nice. We go a few mornings a week and it's my time for girl talk and Tanner's time to fill up with every snack in our pantry! We also have discovered that the movie theater by our house has a dollar movie for kids every Wednesday!

Last week was the first time we tried and surprisingly Tanner did really good! We met up with his bestie Audrey and her mama for a fun day at the movies and a pizza lunch! Tomorrow we will be seeing Rio and I can't wait to see how Tan does again!  We have finally started swimming again at our favorite pool! The pool in Corrales is great for kids! It has a beach type entrance and isn't very deep. The best part about this pool is that it's free for us (thank you family pass for my daddy working for the Village)!   We met up with Audrey and Sarah last week and the kiddos had so much fun! Audrey is a daredevil and my kid pretty much clinched my suit for dear life for the first 30 minutes before he finally got used to the water! Hopefully the next time we go he is a little more adventerous and lets me rest a bit (moving fast is still not my strong suit after surgery).

My favorite thing we have done this summer is taking Tanner on his first fishing trip! He got a rod from his Uncle Frank before he was even born. The last few months Morgan has taught him to cast and reel in his rod.

We thought he might be ready to try real fishing, but our kid literally has the attention span of a knat, so maybe next year! Not to mention, getting hit with a weight and hook is not something I am looking forward to anyway. We let Tan "fish" for a while then drove around until we found the perfect picnic spot. Spending the day with just my boys was so much fun and much needed! The mountains were beautiful and so much cooler than in the city!

And best of all. . . a day of fun leads to one heck of a nap! Tanner slept the whole way home and even had an early bedtime!

                    I cannot wait to see what the rest of the summer has in store for us!

(Oh, and sorry for all the typos. Apparently spell check isn't working and I obviously can't spell. The teacher in me is freaking out, but the mom in me who's kid is about to wake up from his nap any second says screw it!)

Fourth of July

We had the best 4th of July! It was amazing that this year Tanner could actually partake in activities and understand what was going on! Every year we go to the Corrales Parade! I love it because it's not only where I grew up, but I love seeing former students and the old timers who participate every year. Tanner loved it this year. He spent most of the parade on Papa's lap, but that is where he is the happiest. This year we met up with my friend Stephanie and her two girls (who used to be my preschool students and are now high school and mid school age). I love these girls so much and Tanner was quite the ladies man! We also were very surprised when we heard a "hello" coming from behind (Morgan jumped) from our good friends Brittany with Colin and Tanner's "frenemy" Braylon (actually they have been getting along these days yay)!  We all squeezed together and watched the parade unfold!

looking for candy!

dedication to T.C. You will be missed.

loving the horses!

The view is way better up here!

Mama and Tanner with Colin peeking over haha!

The parade was fun. Long, but fun. We headed back to my parents and went to eat some pizza with them at Tanner's favorite place Dions! He loves eating pizza or in his words "peepee" I know I should correct him, but it is just to dang funny! After pizza we headed home for a very much needed nap before going to the North Valley to see the With family. 

We were invited to dinner at the With's (Morgan's stepdads family). They have the most beautiful yard and even have a putting green with a bunker! Tanner had a blast playing with his cousin Xander! They golfed toghether, although I think Tanner was confused and thought the club was a bat! All in all we had an awesome day, minus my kid being terrified, like death grip around your neck, shaking like he's having a seizure, terrified of fireworks! Oh well he has many more years to get excited about those!!!

Mini Tiger?

Future of the PGA tour I hope!

Hope everyone had a very Happy and Safe 4th of July!!!