Where did the time go?

Tanner just celebrated being in this world for 9 whole months! Let me just say that this has been the best 9 months of my life! I am so in love with my little boy and the love grows more and more each day! We had his 9 month check up yesterday and found out that our little man is actually kind of little! I though my kid was huge, but not according to the growth chart! He is 18.8lbs(25%), 27 3/4in (25%), and his head measures 46cm (75%)!  Doctor said it's nothing to worry about and it is because he is more active and burns more calories! If you saw the boys muffin top you would think he weighed A LOT more!

Celebrating 9 months with a picnic at the Biopark!

Well here are some of the things Tanner is up to at 9 months:
*Loves, loves, loves his favorite dog Otis! Likes the others, but Otis is his buddy!
*Is a Grandpa's boy! When Grandpa comes in he wants nothing to do with anyone else, including me!
*Finally has a tooth and is working on another one!
*Loves to have a midnight snack, and then a 2am snack, and sometimes a 5am snack! Hoping this will not be a habit for the next 15 years!
*Hates his crib and has discovered that sleeping next to mommy is pretty darn cool! (for him, momma not so much!)
*His favorite toys are an old vitamin bottle and a wooden spoon! He could care less about his "real expensive" toys! He'll be easy to shop for on his bday- toilet paper rolls, boxes, spoons lol!
*Loves to scream (very high pitched) when he is excited!!!!
*Loves going on car rides with daddy!
*Loves making new friends! He loves kids!
*Decided that baby food is gross and wants what mommy and daddy are eating! So far he loves mac n' cheese, spaghetti noodles, bread, steamed veggies, ice cream (just a little), Kool Aid (thanks to grandma kenny lol)
*tries to crawl, but mostly face plants! He loves to roll places though!
*Is looking whiter and whiter everyday! His hair that was once black is turning golden brown!
*Has his grandma Kenny's side profile!
*Is obsessed with the aquarium! Future fisherman?
*Hates drinking out of bottles, but sure does love mommy's boob! If he only knew his days were numbered!
*laughs hysterically when his daddy tickles him!
*learned to tease Daisy with the reflection his mirror makes on his exersaucer!
*like pulling tails and ears, and tasting the dogs (gross)
*Loves commercials especially the NAU (One day, One night, Saturday's alright one)

Loving the fish!

Tan's new bff! Don't tell Otis!

Sharing toys with Otis!

Favorite toys!

I guess this is pretty cool, but where's my spoon!

It seems like Tanner changes everyday! He is growing so fast and is turning out to be one amazing little guy! Morgan and I are so blessed to have him in our lives (long nights and all)! Being a mommy is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I have to thank God for allowing me to Tanner's mommy!

Happy 9 months my love! 

That Mom. . .

Long before I found out I was going to be a mommy and even when I was pregnant I had assumptions about motherhood and my role as a mom.  I have never had a job not working with kids so I thought my years of teaching preschool gave me some insight into the world of mommyhood! Was I WRONG! I had plans for all the things I would do and the things I would definitely not do as a mommy! So far those plans have not panned out.

Let's start with the "would do" category:
1. I planned on being a working mom (so far I am dreading the day the hubby says it's time to go back)
2. I was going to join mommy and baby yoga (yeah with what time lol)
3. I was going to have a spotless house, get my body back and look even better than before (whatever), and always be "put together" (let's just say sweat pants are my new best friend)
4. I was going to have dinner waiting for Morgan when he got home! Poor guy is lucky if I bring home take out or he does the cooking.
In the "Would never do" category
1. Never co-sleep! That's a joke cause now I have a roomie who takes up most of the bed or I wake to him searching for boob, but most of the time he just sucks elbow
2. Never give him baby food that was not homemade! Well when you have a screamer who wants to be held at all times, it is way easier to open a jar then to steam, puree, and store (I still love doing it when I have time)
3. Never allow him to scream at the table (still don't, but those happy screams are so darn cute)
4. Never let Tanner call the shots, well my days of being the boss are long gone! He is the most demanding boss ever, and Morgan and I bow down to King Tanner (just for now, teenage Tanner has another thing coming)
5. Never breast feed after one year, but the way weaning is going my kid may be attached to my boob for the next 15 years (totally exaggerating!)

So I have become "that" mom. The one I said I wouldn't be, but you know what, I like being this mom. I have an amazing little boy who is happy and secure. Can't ask for much more than that. For being such a planner, this was a good lesson. Life doesn't always go as "planned".

The best part of life! Loving every moment with him, even the nights of getting smacked in the face by Sir Punch A Lot!

Blowouts and Tantrums

So this has been one interesting week in the Dean household! First off, Tanner has discovered his voice. His very loud, ear piercing voice! He loves to shriek at the top of his lungs, but luckily for me these are happy shrieks. He has also learned to throw terrible tantrums though when he doesn't get his way! If he drops a toy all hell breaks loose, and if mommy says no, the world ends! We are working on sharing and realizing that if something is taken away, it's not gone forever! I have my work cut out for me! I really want him to start "sharing" and stop throwing hissy fits before his new cousin is born! I think I have a brat on my hands, but at least he is a cute brat! The tantrum illustrated in the following picture is my fault though. I found out I was having a niece and decided to make some girl bows. Doing this got me thinking of what my (hopefully) future daughter would look like. In case I don't get the chance to have a girl, I decided to see what Tanner would look like if he was a "Madeline" (what we would've named him if he was a girl)!

Sheesh, and you wonder why everyone asks if I'm a girl! Not cool mommy!

In other news, Tan has become a blow out machine and I wish I was talking about bubbles. I have never done this much laundry in my life! I thought the days of poop covered backs and figuring out how to get a onesie off without getting poop in his hair were over, WRONG! At first I thought it was because I bought cheapie diapers so I went and got good old Pampers. Nope. Same outcome! Oh, and my kid is gross and doesn't mind sitting in his own feces so picking him up out of his stroller is always an adventure for mommy! His Grammie got one the other day so now she finally sympathizes with me! I think it's due to his ever expanding diet because this kid will eat any and everything you set in front of him! I just really hope he let's daddy in on all the fun this weekend (just not in his Easter outfit)!

Thought I was past this. . .

So we had to eat out for the 100th time tonight (a little exaggerated, but would love a home cooked meal), due to our lack of a working stove.  Dinner was (big emphasis on was) going great! Tanner was loving his mashed potatoes and was making the funniest shrieking noises! As my hubby was talking, I looked to my right and saw a woman that looked awfully familiar. I whispered to my hubby "who is that", he looked at me like I was nuts and said "I dunno".  I had a feeling I knew her and then it clicked! She was one of the you know what's who wouldn't let me bring home my baby! Turns out I was eating next to one of Tanner's NICU doctors.  I know many families are very grateful for all the NICU has to offer and that many, many babies are saved and very well taken care of there, but my experience was AWFUL! I really thought I was getting past all of my issues with my labor and delivery, but seeing her brought all those emotions back! As we were getting up I politely smiled (even though I just wanted to throw my drink at her) and took the opportunity to show her my "failure to thrive" baby who is over just about 20 pounds and has more rolls than a cinnabon! I have so many issues and resentments for all that my husband and I, and most importantly my baby went through. I know I just need to focus on the here and now and be so thankful that my son is healthy, amazing, and so darn cute, but I still have this underlying feeling that something went wrong in that hospital. Call it mother's intuition if you will.  I have so many fears about having another child and having to go through the same kind of situation and being treated the way I was! I have to move on, I just don't know how!

Day one of the longest and hardest 2 weeks of my life! I thank God everyday for this little booger!

 

Who Needs Sleep?

I do!!!!!!! I know I complain a lot about teething, but it really SUCKS! How can my boy go from sleeping eight hours straight, waking up to drink, and sleep another two hours, to waking up EVERY 2-3 hours? The poor boy (and his mama) are miserable! This dang tooth has been trying to cut through for over a month now! I feel like I have tried everything. The only thing that soothes my poor little man is to nurse. So every 3 hours I am whipping out my boob and basically being a human pacifier for the kid! My boobs feel like the first few days of nursing, and for those of you who have never breastfed, let me just tell you, it does not feel good! Tanner has also decided that he likes sleeping next to me for better access to his mid night snack. For a small boy, he sure does take up a lot of room in the bed.

So, at my wits end, I decided it was time for him to be in his own room all night. Tanner had different ideas and last night after the 7th attempt to get him in his room, I caved and let him sleep with me! As we were in our 2nd hour of sleep (remember we only get about 3), My other child (the four legged one) Daisy started having an allergy attack. This was  a bad one, so I jump out of bed ready for puppy CPR if needed. After an hour of hearing her wheeze, 1 allergy pill later, and now a dog in the bed, I finally drift into dream land, but guess who decided he needed boob. . . yup little man was up again! So my 3 hour stretch of sleep sadly became about 30 minutes. The rest of the night was not much better as I kept reaching to feel if Daisy was breathing as I slept in my 2 inches of bed! No sleeping is literally killing me, a slow, painful death!

Twists and Turns in Life

I cannot even begin to grasp how much my life has changed the last few years! It seems like just yesterday I was in college thinking that I would never be done and thinking that love would pass me by and I would have to resort to signing up to be a pathetic, sobbing, wreck on the Bachelor. I am horribly shy and have been since I was a child, so for this girl to put herself out there and talk to boys was nearly impossible. After a few failed attempts at love, I met a man who was *gasp* a little older, not so mature, but very sweet! I knew deep down we would get married so I printed some pictures of the rings I liked (the man has very bad fashion sense)! Soon after he asked me to marry him and picked the perfect ring (gee, I wonder why)! After a short engagement we were married and loving life. I was told by some doctors that my chances of conceiving a child "naturally" were unlikely, so of course babies were all I could think about! I had a good friend with whom I worked who was having some fertility issues herself, so we would spend afternoons talking about how much we wanted babies! Well by December (we were married in October), we found out that we were going to be parents! Shocked, amazed, and a little bit scared, I went into work to tell my co-workers and guess what! That same co worker who I spent so many days talking and crying to, had some big news of her own!  We were both preggers and due two days apart! It was amazing having a friend to experience pregnancy with! Well long story short, after a complicated pregnancy, quitting my teaching job, and diving into the world of being a full time stay at home mommy, I have a beautiful 8 month old little boy who is the love of my life and a husband that I love with all of my heart! So much has changed in the last two years, marriage, meeting  a life long friend (who will hopefully be my in-law someday), becoming a mom, and experiencing so many "firsts"! I am loving life and am so thankful for all of the twists and turns life throws. It's amazing to think that one little thing or choice could have changed all of this! I guess God really does know what he is doing! 

So here are some pictures that sum up the last couple of years of my life!

Engagement Pictures - June 2009

Wedding Day- October 30, 2009

Found out Tanner was a boy- April 2010

Fellow preggy friend! Due two days apart (although I was soooo much bigger, yikes) June 2010)

friends from the womb and now in person! Winter 2011

And finally to the present! My happy, adorable, and very loved 8 month old!