Learning to be patient (emphasis on learning)

Patience is not one of my virtues. I really can't remember a time in my life when I was patient for anything! The last three years have tested me and I am in the process of learning to be more patient, although it is literally driving me crazy! After three years of ups and downs, mainly focused on fertility, pregnancy, surgery I find myself yet again trying to find that balance of impatience and faith.

After my surgery last summer I wasn't quite ready to have another child. I wanted Tanner to be a little more self sufficient in case my next pregnancy would result in bed rest. I just couldn't imagine what life would be like for my little boy if his mommy couldn't pick him up or take him to the park like we do almost everyday. October rolled around and Morgan and I decided that we were both ready to start trying for our second baby. I am terrified after the pregnancy I had last time, but am hopeful now that I have a bionic cervix thanks to Dr. Haney!

We decided to try for a few months and just have fun with it. That lasted all of about one cycle. When it didn't happen the first time I found myself obsessing over babies! We are now on month four and I am pretty sure this isn't the month either. Four months and I am freaking out! All of the what if's start filling my mind. Seeing announcements are hard. I am genuinely happy for others who are experiencing pregnancy and a new life growing inside them. I just want it to happen here too!

The last three years have been such a roller coaster. Having to wait for things is hard. I remember when Tanner was in the NICU. Those two weeks seemed like the longest wait of my life! Finding out the awful news of having an abnormal pap just weeks before my surgery was awful and the week waiting for results about drove me mad (which came out fine). Waiting for insurance approval for surgery and then waiting for the actual surgery date were so hard as well. But, even after feeling like the wait was never ending everything worked out so beautifully! My son is healthy and perfect, and the absolute light of my life. My surgery showed me to what lengths I will go to protect my children present and future and even better, I go to meet the most compassionate doctor in the world! So just like everything in the past worked out, I am sure that I will be announcing my own pregnancy soon. I try to remind myself that I will appreciate my blessings even more because I had to work so hard for them. I saw this on pinterest and it pretty much sums up what I need to focus on right now

So starting today the above is my new motto. God knows what is best and I will give it all up to him.

Been A Long Time

It's been a long time since I've published a post. Almost everyday I write an entry in my head, but just never seem to type it. It could be that my days (especially the last three weeks) have been filled with running to the potty every 20 minutes with the little guy. Potty training is no joke, but I think we have finally become successful (or Tanner has). He is going on almost three weeks of no accidents! I am very proud of my little guy and although at times I was sure I was going to have a nervous breakdown and was pretty sure I would be sending my kid to kindergarten in Depends, we did it! Another hurdle of motherhood complete. As I think back on all the stages Tanner has been through the last 2.5 years (how in the world is my baby 2.5 years old), I can't help but smile, but my heart also aches a bit.

He is growing so fast! He is developing his own personality, and a very comical one at that! He is convinced that Honey Booboo is his girlfriend and has picked up a few sayings that a two year old probably shouldn't say. His favorite show is Fast N' Loud and now every time he sees a cool car he yells out "That's a bad ass car mommy"! I should probably censor tv time a little more! The innocence in the way he says it makes it hard to reprimand him and the fact that my husband laughs doesn't help. He has this tough guy exterior like his daddy, but then can melt your heart with sweetness. He loves to talk about Jesus and told me the other day that "Tan tan not scared, Jesus here". He is also so concerned with taking care of people and when I wasn't feeling well last weekend he said "don't worry, tan tan is here. I take care you".

I'm sad at how fast this is all going. Each passing stage just reminds me that my little boy is growing up. I absolutely love every minute I spend with him, even the challenging ones and the ones that want to make me rip my hair out! He makes me appreciate everyday and seeing the world through his eyes is the best part of motherhood. I love my boy so much and although I'm pretty sure that I'm screwing up this whole mommy thing most of the time, his smiles, hugs, and kisses are reassurance that I am doing something right.

What I'm Thankful For. . .

Today is Thanksgiving! It will be a day filled with family and delicious food. It is also a day to reflect on what you are thankful for. Today I am thankful for my enormous family and for the fact that I get to be a part of three, yes three different Thanksgiving day parties. Sometimes it is overwhelming trying to fit everything and everyone in one day, but knowing that I have so many people who love us and just want to be with us makes me feel so good. I am thankful to have this Thanksgiving with my Pampa and although it will be sad because there will now be one more empty seat at the table, it is a time for us to come together and remember my Mema and my Uncle Donnie and how he was cracking jokes and was so happy just last year.

I am thankful for my parents and in-laws. I can never thank them enough for all they do for us, whether it be making our favorite dinners, to showing up with a box of diapers when it is needed the most. Most of all I am thankful that they love Tanner so much! My son is so lucky to have three sets of grandparents and an uncle and an auntie who would do anything in the world for him! Watching him and seeing how much he loves them melts my heart.

This year I am also so thankful to Dr. Arthur Haney who gave me hope that having another (healthy) baby is actually a possibility! This man is so kind and understanding and has helped thousands of women all over the world bring healthy babies home. He keeps in contact and is always just an email away. I wish there were more doctors like this out there. I am also so thankful for all of my "Abbysisters" the woman I have met from all over the country who have lost precious babies, or came close to it because of our condition. These woman are a network of support and love and I cherish having these woman (even though I've never met most of them) in my life.

I'm thankful for my home. It may not be the newest or prettiest house in the world, but it's home and I love it! It is filled with love and laughter and three naughty dogs who I love with all of my heart (most of the time).

And finally, I am MOST thankful for my husband and son.  Morgan is an amazing friend and partner. I am so thankful for the fact that he works SO hard in order to give me the ability to stay home with Tanner. It was my dream to be a stay at home mom and Morgan made that dream and so many others come true. Tanner is my biggest blessing! I didn't know it was possible to love someone else so much! He is the absolute BEST thing that I have and will ever do.

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with love and lots and lots of food!!

I may not be thankful for the weight I might gain today, but oh well. . .

Catching Up

It has been quite a while since I've sat down to write an entry. Life with a two year old is busy!!! When he naps I take the opportunity to blog,clean or get a workout in. Lately, the workout has won presedence mainly because no matter how much I clean, the house is a disaster site withing ten minutes of Tanner being awake!! I am working really hard to get in the best shape possible before getting pregnant with number 2!  We have decided to start trying and I am so paranoid because of how my pregnancy went last time, that I just want to do everything in my power to try and have a healthy full termer! I am not loving the workouts, but I know they will pay off eventually.

We have had a very busy fall thus far. Halloween came and my son LOVED it! It didn't take him long to catch on to the whole trick or treating thing, except now everytime we drive up to my inlaws he points to the house and says "twic o tweet peas".  He had a blast this year watching his very talented Auntie and her friend Jen carve amazing pumpkins. Of course Morgan had to do his annual flaming pumpkin and everyone in the neighborhood loved it!

Tanner was the cutest little scarecrow around and his cousin Gemma was the prettiest Cinderella I have ever seen. Those two are wild together, but it is so much fun watching them interact. Grandma's gonna have her hands full with these two!!!

Double trouble, but hey at least they are cute!

Tanner has fallen in love with going to the park, which is great, but the kid loves to go on the biggest slide and nearly gives me a heart attack everytime we are there. On election day my friend Sarah had the day off so we took the kiddos to a really neat park by our houses. The kiddos had so much fun and get along so well. Tanner decided he didn't like me and only let Sarah push him on the swing, which was fine cause I got to hang out with Audrey who is like an angel compared to my wild child! 



Young love!

 Potty training has had it's ups and downs lately. Tanner started out doing really well, but has become very stubborn about going. He will pee everytime I take him to the potty, but if I'm not reminding him he wets himself. I would say he goes about 50% of the time in the potty, but poop is another issue. My kid could care less if he is sitting in a poopy diaper. I sometimes think he might actually prefer it! We will keep working on it and so many people have told me that when they are ready it will happen fast. I am hoping they are right!
Next up is Thanksgiving and spending time with all of our family. We are so blessed to have such a big family and I can't wait to see everyone and eat some delicious food!!!

Another Year in the Books

Today marks three years of marriage for Morgan and I. Three years of laughter, tears, smiles, grouchiness (mostly on my part), decisions, and most of all lots of memories! The last three years have not been all rainbows and butterflies, but I can honestly say that I married an amazing man. He is so kind and will do anything for his family. I am one lucky girl and I am so blessed with the life I have.

To celebrate our three whole years, we dropped the little man off with Papa and Mama and headed out for a nice quiet dinner. I haven't had sushi since Morgan broke it to me that those orange things weren't really finely chopped carrots! I decided to be brave and try it once again. I really loved it in the past, but my mind kept getting in the way of trying it again. We headed over to a little resturant named Ichiban. We ordered a few different rolls (my fav was the shrimp tempura roll, minus the eggs) and the New Mexico roll (basically a chili relleno wrapped in seaweed). I am chopstick incompetent and the waitress took forever to bring a fork so I decided to be all kinds of classy and just use my hands, reminding my husband that he married me for better or worse! 

kind of dark, but it's a beautiful coral color

We finished off our evening by stopping by Bootbarn to look at boots for our little man. We are doing family pics in a couple of weeks and I want Tanner to match his daddy. While we were there I found the necklace I have been looking for for months! My hubby made my day by getting it for me and I cannot wait to wear it for our pictures. It is so pretty and just perfect.

And we found Tanner the perfect boots, but needed the booger there to try them on! Guess we will make another trip this weekend.

I am so blessed and thankful that I found a partner and a best friend! We may not always like each other, but I will always love this man with my whole heart! Here's to many more years and lots of memories! 

Long Time, No Blog. . .

It feels like forever since I have written a blog entry. We have been so busy lately and the terrible two's are in full force around here. Any chance I have to myself I use to decompress in the tub or with some mind numbing form of reality tv. To say I am exhausted in an understatement! The last few weeks have been filled with laughter, adventure, some tears (mostly from Tan, but some from me because of Tan), firsts, visits from great old friends and wedded bliss! I love this time of year and try to get out as much as possible before the cold weather comes. You are about to be photo bombed with some of the things that have kept us so busy the last few weeks! Enjoy!

 

We started off October with the Balloon Fiesta! My dad was able to get tickets from work this year and we got the VIP treatment. Free food, great parking, and free admission. Morgan couldn't make it this year, so I went with my parents, Tanner, and my Grandma aka "Mama Nene".  We had such a great time and I was so happy to have been able to share it with my grandma and my sweet little boy.

We also got to visit with one of my great friends from college, her husband and two adorable kiddos. I have missed Erin so much and seeing her made me wish she didn't live so far away. Tanner and her son Cameron got along so good and her beautiful daughter Evie, made the baby fever I've been suffering from hit an all time high!!  I wish I would've gotten pictures of all the kiddos together!

Tanner and I have been hitting up "Toddler Time" at the Corrales Library. I am trying to get him around more kids his age and this has been really fun for both of us! He has met some new friends and I have met some new mommy friends as well! We both really look forward to Wednesday mornings! Oh, and Tanner has totally grasped the concept of checking out books! He thinks it's the coolest thing ever to get new books every week!

Every year since Tanner has been born we have gone to a local pumpkin patch. It's great because it's free and money goes to a great cause. We have taken a family picture there every year so I am so excited to do one this year. Getting daddy there is the issue. The man works so hard at work and when he comes home there is always a project waiting (my honey do list of pintrest projects is getting out of hand, but he is such a good sport).  We made it to the patch this year with my mother in law, sis in law, and my niece Gemma.  The kiddos had a blast and my inlaws were in pumpkin heaven!!

Since the weather has been so nice lately, we have been going out as much as possible. Every week we meet up with my sister in law and Gemma to feed the ducks at Tingly Beach. It's not really a beach, mostly fishing ponds, but it is a lot of fun. There are tons of ducks and geese that scare the living crap out of me! Last week Gemma was not feeling it so they had to leave, but Tan and I decided to head over to the aquarium and botanical gardens. It was really nice spending time with him just the two of us. We looked at fish (aka "tish" and "sharps" sharks) and then went for a walk looking at all of the plants. It is kind of sad when all the flowers stop blooming and the trees begin to lose their leaves, but makes for good conversation about what colors things are. We had a great time together and I am hoping to take him a few more times before everything dies.




They have already started setting up for the river of lights

and this was Tanner's favorite!

Finally for our "first". . . Tanner caught his first fish!!!! Morgan decided he and Tan needed a boys day and headed down to the river for some catfishing.  I was more than happy for that boys day because my mommy and I needed a shopping day desperately!!  I got a call from Morgan saying I better get ready cause we were having catfish for dinner (yuck)!   Tanner was so proud of his fish that they had to keep because it swallowed the hook.  He was a little freaked out with the "whiskers", but still talks about his fish from the agua!

Tan and I have also been trying to get our butts in gear and run everyday. We usually run at a park, but going in a circle has gotten a bit boring. We decided to head down to the bosque and on Monday we were joined by my aunt. She doesn't run so we walked, VERY fast! That lady kicked my butt! I don't know why walking fast is so much harder for me than running, but it is!!! It was so beautiful on our walk and with a view like the one below, how can you not smile!

And FINALLY, last weekend we got to see my cousin marry her Prince Charming!!! It was such a fun, laid back wedding! She looked amazing and was the happiest I have ever seen her! The food was delicious and my little ladies man was in heaven with all the little girls to flirt with!!

He likes them older!

The music was great and they played almost all of Tan's favorites! The boy danced non stop!! He was so excited to dance with the bride! 

When we had to leave he threw the biggest, laying on the ground kicking and screaming fit!!! He hadn't napped all day and had eaten way too much cake and giving a two year old seven up was the dumbest idea I have had in a long time!  The ride home was NOT fun and neither was the "I'm never going to sleep again" rest of the night we had! He was on a sugar detox all of Sunday!!

Our weeks have been crazy busy, but oh so much fun! I am really loving this age (minus the tantrums and the mindset of my way or the highway). We are trying to figure the whole terrible two's out, but from what I've seen it could be worse and I am pretty lucky with the kiddo I have.

I love spending my days with this little cutie! I cannot wait to see what adventures and fun we will have the rest of the month! I am so excited for the next couple of weeks! Halloween and our Anniversary. I cannot believe October is almost over! Where has the time gone?

Mom's Night Out: Birthday Edition

Last Saturday, I was surprised with an awesome night out with some great friends to celebrate my turning another year older! They had mentioned to be ready at five and to wear a dress and heels, but that was all I was told. I panicked, hoping that the dress I had in mind (pre Tanner) still fit.  Thanks to Spanx and lots of running a few days prior, it fit!!! Sarah and Brittany picked me up and made the trek to the other side of town. To my surprise we ended up at Saint Clair Winery!  I had been wanting to try this place for so long! Now, I am not really a wine drinker, but I want to be so I was excited to try something new! Kim joined us there and it was so nice to see these ladies in a different setting. Like an eat with two hands, no breaking up brawls, and being able to talk freely without little ears around! Kim was great at explaining wines and helped me pick the perfect one! Dinner was amazing, but the company was even better!

After dinner Brittany, Sarah, and I headed over to the Que Bar. It was definitely an experience and  Brittany's words "Man our girls nights are getting lame" pretty much summed up our time at the bar! Sadly her words were true! This bar seemed to be for the older crowd that think they are still in their twenties and dress like they are too! The music was too loud and nine o' clock rolled around and you could see that we were about ready to call it a night, some might say lame, but when you have a toddler you can understand! We had some laughs over a creeper scanning the room for some action and when it didn't happen, he had a great time on the dance floor by himself. The guy had moves we had never seen before! I tried to get Sarah to go and dance with him, but she didn't go for the $5 I offered her! All in all we had such a good time and laughed a lot!!!

Thanks again for a great night ladies!