Major Catch Up

So my weekly attempts at updating the blog and pregnancy has not gone as planned at all. I am literally so tired that between taking care of Tanner, my gazillion doctors appointments, and trying to keep my house in order I am wiped by mid afternoon! Thank goodness for a husband who has really stepped up in all departments (cooking, cleaning, Tanner duty, etc) because I just can't keep up. Pregnancy in general is hard, but with a toddler it adds a whole new element.

Last time I updated I was 20 weeks pregnant! I am currently 27+3!! I am so excited to be passed viability and knowing that each day she bakes the stronger she will will be if she happens to come early. I had a scare at 21 weeks thinking I was contracting, turns out I was just a little backed up if you know what I mean! I can laugh now, but in the moment I was scared out of my mind. Things have been great since then. I am still suffering from SPD (symphsis pubic dysfunction) which is incredibly painful, but poses no risk to baby which is a relief. Heartburn is killer, but Pepcid is helping. Baby and I have hit a major growth spurt the last two weeks. My hopes for keeping my weight under 30 are probably dashed as I am 27 weeks and have gained 23lbs and still have 11 weeks until c-section. I was bummed, but since I am past viability I have started incorporating more workouts until SPD flares up. I will just have lots of work to do after little miss arrives. I'm starting to get overwhelmed with all of my doctors appointments right now. I go weekly for shots, biweekly for cervical length scans, monthly for growth scans of baby, and every three weeks to my regular Ob. It's a lot. I also have to do FFN testing every two weeks where they basically shove the longest q-tip you've ever seen up my hooha to see if I "might" go into labor in the next two weeks. I get being proactive, but man it's not fun having people up in your business all.the.time. On the major plus side, Avery is growing perfectly and loves moving around! Feeling her move inside of me is the most amazing feeling in the world. I love watching my tummy move around and she loves when her big brother talks to her. He told me last night that he already loves her and it melted my heart! He is going to be an amazing big brother!

Up next is Christmas and we are so excited to spend time with all of our loved ones! I will be 28 weeks by then and that was my major goal this time around! I am hoping and praying to make it to 38 and as each day passes I feel more confindent that I will!!

Here are some weekly picture to catch myself up

                                

 

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                                           And finally a shot of my Little Princess at 27 weeks!

Thankful for a reality check

Today is Thanksgiving. It's 1 am and I can't sleep. So much is running through my head and I just can't seem to turn my brain off. I have so many things to be thankful for this year and got hit with a dose of reality yesterday that really made my priorities in life pretty darn clear. I met my parents for lunch at a local burger place yesterday. As we were walking in we were approached by a man asking for money so he could buy lunch. At first my mom was a bit annoyed and gave him two dollars, mainly so he would go away. We didn't think much of it until we saw him walk in the resturant a few minutes later. He sat down, tears welling in his eyes and was watching others eat. My eyes met my moms and both of us lost it. The tears began flowing and neither of us could even take a bite of food. We both searched our purses and found some money for the man. My mom walked over to him and asked if he had ordered some food. He said that he used the money she gave him to get some fries, but that the workers told him he needed to leave. My mom took him outside and handed him the money. He said he was ashamed and "felt like crap" for having to beg. My mom said she was sorry she didn't give him more earlier, but that she wanted him to have a good dinner and that God would've wanted her to help. They both cried for a minute, then my mom returned to the table. We still ate our food with a lump in our throats and my brother made the comment "we can't help everyone", but the only thing that came out of my mouth was "well she made a difference to him". It was a small gesture and I know we wish we could've done more.

I have not been able to get this man off my mind. I have prayed all day that God will take care of him. I have struggled lately with feeling down about our particular situation. Finances are tight and we may not always be able to do the things we are used to, but I have never been hungry or cold. Seeing someone hungry hit me, hard. It's not fair. I complain about not being able to shop and all this man wanted was a burger. Talk about a lesson. I think God puts people or situations in our lives to show us what is really important. Today, I learned that I have so much to be thankful for (super fitting since today is Thanksgiving). I have love, a home, food to eat, a husband that would move heaven and earth for me if I asked, a healthy amazing little boy, and a baby girl growing inside of me. So often I complain about having too many places to go for the holidays and yet some people don't even have a place to sleep, much less a place to go for the holidays. This year I plan to embrace the fact that I have a crazy, big, loud, family that I love with all of my heart. I needed this reality check and thank God for opening my eyes to the bigger picture this year. I am truly blessed and need to remember that every single day.

20 weeks

I am officially a little more than halfway through this pregnancy!!! 18 more weeks until I get to meet my little princess! This week has been an emotional one for me. I was 20+1 when I had my emergency cerclage with my son. That was the scariest day of my life. Yesterday, I was also 20+1 and had my anatomy scan. The nerves were at an all time high.  I was so scared that something would go wrong. But, thankfully, all was great with my girl. She is measuring right on track and she's still a girl. I've been holding off on the nursery because I was scared of an oops it's a boy! Best news of all my cervix measured at 4.5 cm! Much better than the 1.2 I had at this same gestation last time! My MFM is wonderful. He is like a big Santa Claus and is so sweet. I've been in a lot of pain lately from an overproduction of relaxin which makes your pelvic/pubic bone spread. He's not too concerned but officially said running will have to wait until after baby and even walking should be limited to only what I have to do. He did recommend trying the elliptical and joining water aerobics. I have a feeling I'll be joining the old lady water group at the gym!  I still have to go in every other week for cervical checks, but it's nice to be able to see Avery so often. In four weeks I get my 3d ultrasound so I am excited for that one and it marks my first big milestone 24 weeks!

How far along:  20 weeks 2 days

Sleep: Still a struggle. I am in the worst pain at night, but my snoodle is really helping (my boys hate my pillow).

Weight gain: With my last pregnancy I was up a lot of weight by this time! So far with this one I have gained 12lbs. Not to bad for not working out for 3 weeks, but I look much bigger than I did last time.

Stretch Marks: No new ones!!

Best moment this week:  Watching my tummy move as she kicks and Tanner asking to hug her at random times throughout the day.

Food Cravings:  I finally had a major craving Tuesday night. Like the kind of craving that made me cry because I needed it. Thankfully my hubby ran to the store at 8pm and got me an apple pie and ice cream. He's definitely a keeper!

Miss Anything:  I miss being active like I used to be. I've learned the hard way what overdoing it can do to me. Last weekend we went for a long walk and I'm still paying for it pain wise. I just need to remember that I will be active again soon as I'm sure I'll never sit with two kiddos running around.

20 week belly and she is finally moving up! And of course my Daisylou posing with me!

19 Weeks

I have been really bad about documenting this pregnancy. I don't know if it's just the lack of energy or the fact that I have a very active toddler who demands most of my attention. I really want to remember as much as I can with this pregnancy because I am pretty sure it will be my last. I am going to try and do a weekly update with milestones, belly pictures, etc. so I have a virtual memory of this pregnancy. Even though I had my son only three years ago, there are so many things I have forgotten about his pregnancy. So even though I'm already halfway through this pregnancy, I will do my best to document from here on out. 


How far along?  19 weeks 1 day

Sleep:  Insomnia is bad at the moment. Between having to get up and pee every two hours and my husband snoring, I don't get much sleep. I also tend to worry at night. It seems like all my days stresses seem to peak about 2 am. I am also dealing with a lot of pain from my pubic bone separating early so rolling over in bed is extremely painful. 

Stretch Marks:  No new ones yet!!! Hoping this is a trend. Bi oil is my new best friend and it has actually faded the ones from my last pregnancy tremendously! 

Weight gain: So far so good! At this stage with my son I think I was up about 20 pounds. This time I have gained 9 so far, but I look much bigger than I did with my son go figure!

Best moment this week: Feeling Avery move. So far I can only feel her from inside, but every time she moves it makes me smile and feel so blessed to be carrying her. 

Food Cravings:  I want green chile all.the.time. I pretty much put it on everything and then the heartburn kicks in! 

Miss anything: I miss working out! Never thought I'd say that, but when you are told you can't, it makes you want to even more. Because of the pubic bone pain, my doctor wants me to hold off on working out for a few weeks. I am still working on toning my arms, but legs and walking long distances are a no go for right now. It stinks, but I have the rest of my life to get back in shape and I'll do anything to ensure my girl is safe. 

I can't believe how fast this pregnancy is going. Getting to 12 weeks seemed to take forever and now I am exactly 19 weeks away from my c-section! Weekly p17 injections (to keep uterus clam) make it seem so fast, mainly because once my butt starts feeling better it's time for another shot! I am also seeing my MFM biweekly for cervical length checks and am so excited to say that my last measurement was 4.9 cm!!! At this same point with Tanner it was 1.2 cm. Overall all the appointments are a bit overwhelming, but also reassuring. It's nice to see Avery every two weeks and nice to know that if something goes wrong the doctors will catch it early, but sometimes I feel like I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Staying faithful is my goal, and prayer and being able to talk to other women in my support group is my saving grace. 

19 week belly 

God is Good

The last year has been filled with ups and downs, emotional and physical struggles.  Last June we had our hope for another child renewed after we had a very successful TAC (transabdominal cerlage) surgery in Chicago. We were so excited to put my new bionic cervix to the test, but unfortunately getting pregnant was not the easiest thing in the world for me. To be honest it was really hard. Month after month of disappointment was really starting to wear on me and I found myself not so much depressed, but just defeated. The first few months were fine, but when it wasn't happening I pulled out all the stops! I swear I almost went broke on ovulation tests, pregnancy tests, and eating a fertility friendly diet! I became obsessive. I temped and charted every morning, googled every symptom possible and was doing everything right, still with no reward.

After 8 months I made an appointment with my doctor. We discussed what was going on and he was pretty sure that I was not ovulating (kind of a big deal when you want a baby).  He decided to put me on Clomid (a fertility drug that tricks your body into ovulating).  I was excited for an answer as to why I wasn't getting pregnant, but I really had deep reservations about taking the drug. Women on Clomid have a 10-15% chance of conceiving multiples.  Since Tanner was a twin, my chances of multiples jumped to 25%.  Not a huge chance, but one that really scared me. I had such a hard time with Tanner's pregnancy, and even though my problem was fixed, I still had a hard time believing my body wouldn't fail me again. I was so nervous about it that I let the prescription sit on my counter for a month. I went in to see my doctor to have my progesterone levels checked which indicates if you ovulate or not. When my doctor called with the results I freaked out. Apparently my levels were that of a post menopausal woman! That phone call finally  gave me the push to decide that maybe I would take it. I decided to email my doctor from Chicago to get his opinion as he was a reproductive endocrinologist for 26 years.  He asked me to call him, so I did. He talked with me on the phone for over an hour and really eased my fears. After talking with him I decided that as soon as my cycle started I would give Clomid a shot.  The problem was, my cycle wasn't coming. I though great another problem. Finally on day 48 I called the doctor who prescribed me a drug to force my cycle to start. I picked up the prescription and decided to wait two more days. On day 50 I decided to take a test just to humor myself and just be certain I wasn't pregnant before taking the drug. To my absolute surprise there were two lines!!! I freaked out! First thing I could think of was calling my mom and the tears were pouring. Once I calmed down I called the doctor who told me to come in right away to take betas (not sure he believed that I was actually pregnant since he said I didn't ovulate). When my husband got home I surprised him and all he could say was "but you didn't ovulate".   I went in for blood and the next day it was confirmed based off my numbers that I was definitely pregnant! The numbers doubled over the next few days and an early ultrasound confirmed there was a baby in there!

Since I am high risk, I go in pretty often to have ultrasounds, which is nice to see baby and the progress, but not so nice on the wallet. At 6 weeks we had a scare, but since then everything has been great. Morning all day sickness is no fun, but it's weirdly reassuring. I am on progesterone to help sustain the pregnancy until 16 weeks at which time I will switch over to progesterone injections (my ass is already sore thinking about it).  And from then on out I will have bi weekly ultrasounds just to make sure my body is holding up. It's scary, but leaning on my faith and my online support group of friends who are also going through their first TAC pregnancy has helped tremendously.

I was and think I still am in a state of shock! I love my doctor, but it was so nice proving him wrong and getting pregnant without meds. All I can say is that God truly had a hand in all of this. Not that I needed proof, but this just reinforced that there is a higher power at work. It was in His time and I am just so thankful he chose to bless us with another child. I have prayed, cried, begged for this child and I will never take a second for granted.

Please just continue to pray for a long, full term, and healthy pregnancy for us. We are scared, but truly believe in the power of prayer.

Our Miracle at 12 weeks! 

Learning to be patient (emphasis on learning)

Patience is not one of my virtues. I really can't remember a time in my life when I was patient for anything! The last three years have tested me and I am in the process of learning to be more patient, although it is literally driving me crazy! After three years of ups and downs, mainly focused on fertility, pregnancy, surgery I find myself yet again trying to find that balance of impatience and faith.

After my surgery last summer I wasn't quite ready to have another child. I wanted Tanner to be a little more self sufficient in case my next pregnancy would result in bed rest. I just couldn't imagine what life would be like for my little boy if his mommy couldn't pick him up or take him to the park like we do almost everyday. October rolled around and Morgan and I decided that we were both ready to start trying for our second baby. I am terrified after the pregnancy I had last time, but am hopeful now that I have a bionic cervix thanks to Dr. Haney!

We decided to try for a few months and just have fun with it. That lasted all of about one cycle. When it didn't happen the first time I found myself obsessing over babies! We are now on month four and I am pretty sure this isn't the month either. Four months and I am freaking out! All of the what if's start filling my mind. Seeing announcements are hard. I am genuinely happy for others who are experiencing pregnancy and a new life growing inside them. I just want it to happen here too!

The last three years have been such a roller coaster. Having to wait for things is hard. I remember when Tanner was in the NICU. Those two weeks seemed like the longest wait of my life! Finding out the awful news of having an abnormal pap just weeks before my surgery was awful and the week waiting for results about drove me mad (which came out fine). Waiting for insurance approval for surgery and then waiting for the actual surgery date were so hard as well. But, even after feeling like the wait was never ending everything worked out so beautifully! My son is healthy and perfect, and the absolute light of my life. My surgery showed me to what lengths I will go to protect my children present and future and even better, I go to meet the most compassionate doctor in the world! So just like everything in the past worked out, I am sure that I will be announcing my own pregnancy soon. I try to remind myself that I will appreciate my blessings even more because I had to work so hard for them. I saw this on pinterest and it pretty much sums up what I need to focus on right now

So starting today the above is my new motto. God knows what is best and I will give it all up to him.

Been A Long Time

It's been a long time since I've published a post. Almost everyday I write an entry in my head, but just never seem to type it. It could be that my days (especially the last three weeks) have been filled with running to the potty every 20 minutes with the little guy. Potty training is no joke, but I think we have finally become successful (or Tanner has). He is going on almost three weeks of no accidents! I am very proud of my little guy and although at times I was sure I was going to have a nervous breakdown and was pretty sure I would be sending my kid to kindergarten in Depends, we did it! Another hurdle of motherhood complete. As I think back on all the stages Tanner has been through the last 2.5 years (how in the world is my baby 2.5 years old), I can't help but smile, but my heart also aches a bit.

He is growing so fast! He is developing his own personality, and a very comical one at that! He is convinced that Honey Booboo is his girlfriend and has picked up a few sayings that a two year old probably shouldn't say. His favorite show is Fast N' Loud and now every time he sees a cool car he yells out "That's a bad ass car mommy"! I should probably censor tv time a little more! The innocence in the way he says it makes it hard to reprimand him and the fact that my husband laughs doesn't help. He has this tough guy exterior like his daddy, but then can melt your heart with sweetness. He loves to talk about Jesus and told me the other day that "Tan tan not scared, Jesus here". He is also so concerned with taking care of people and when I wasn't feeling well last weekend he said "don't worry, tan tan is here. I take care you".

I'm sad at how fast this is all going. Each passing stage just reminds me that my little boy is growing up. I absolutely love every minute I spend with him, even the challenging ones and the ones that want to make me rip my hair out! He makes me appreciate everyday and seeing the world through his eyes is the best part of motherhood. I love my boy so much and although I'm pretty sure that I'm screwing up this whole mommy thing most of the time, his smiles, hugs, and kisses are reassurance that I am doing something right.

What I'm Thankful For. . .

Today is Thanksgiving! It will be a day filled with family and delicious food. It is also a day to reflect on what you are thankful for. Today I am thankful for my enormous family and for the fact that I get to be a part of three, yes three different Thanksgiving day parties. Sometimes it is overwhelming trying to fit everything and everyone in one day, but knowing that I have so many people who love us and just want to be with us makes me feel so good. I am thankful to have this Thanksgiving with my Pampa and although it will be sad because there will now be one more empty seat at the table, it is a time for us to come together and remember my Mema and my Uncle Donnie and how he was cracking jokes and was so happy just last year.

I am thankful for my parents and in-laws. I can never thank them enough for all they do for us, whether it be making our favorite dinners, to showing up with a box of diapers when it is needed the most. Most of all I am thankful that they love Tanner so much! My son is so lucky to have three sets of grandparents and an uncle and an auntie who would do anything in the world for him! Watching him and seeing how much he loves them melts my heart.

This year I am also so thankful to Dr. Arthur Haney who gave me hope that having another (healthy) baby is actually a possibility! This man is so kind and understanding and has helped thousands of women all over the world bring healthy babies home. He keeps in contact and is always just an email away. I wish there were more doctors like this out there. I am also so thankful for all of my "Abbysisters" the woman I have met from all over the country who have lost precious babies, or came close to it because of our condition. These woman are a network of support and love and I cherish having these woman (even though I've never met most of them) in my life.

I'm thankful for my home. It may not be the newest or prettiest house in the world, but it's home and I love it! It is filled with love and laughter and three naughty dogs who I love with all of my heart (most of the time).

And finally, I am MOST thankful for my husband and son.  Morgan is an amazing friend and partner. I am so thankful for the fact that he works SO hard in order to give me the ability to stay home with Tanner. It was my dream to be a stay at home mom and Morgan made that dream and so many others come true. Tanner is my biggest blessing! I didn't know it was possible to love someone else so much! He is the absolute BEST thing that I have and will ever do.

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with love and lots and lots of food!!

I may not be thankful for the weight I might gain today, but oh well. . .

Catching Up

It has been quite a while since I've sat down to write an entry. Life with a two year old is busy!!! When he naps I take the opportunity to blog,clean or get a workout in. Lately, the workout has won presedence mainly because no matter how much I clean, the house is a disaster site withing ten minutes of Tanner being awake!! I am working really hard to get in the best shape possible before getting pregnant with number 2!  We have decided to start trying and I am so paranoid because of how my pregnancy went last time, that I just want to do everything in my power to try and have a healthy full termer! I am not loving the workouts, but I know they will pay off eventually.

We have had a very busy fall thus far. Halloween came and my son LOVED it! It didn't take him long to catch on to the whole trick or treating thing, except now everytime we drive up to my inlaws he points to the house and says "twic o tweet peas".  He had a blast this year watching his very talented Auntie and her friend Jen carve amazing pumpkins. Of course Morgan had to do his annual flaming pumpkin and everyone in the neighborhood loved it!

Tanner was the cutest little scarecrow around and his cousin Gemma was the prettiest Cinderella I have ever seen. Those two are wild together, but it is so much fun watching them interact. Grandma's gonna have her hands full with these two!!!

Double trouble, but hey at least they are cute!

Tanner has fallen in love with going to the park, which is great, but the kid loves to go on the biggest slide and nearly gives me a heart attack everytime we are there. On election day my friend Sarah had the day off so we took the kiddos to a really neat park by our houses. The kiddos had so much fun and get along so well. Tanner decided he didn't like me and only let Sarah push him on the swing, which was fine cause I got to hang out with Audrey who is like an angel compared to my wild child! 



Young love!

 Potty training has had it's ups and downs lately. Tanner started out doing really well, but has become very stubborn about going. He will pee everytime I take him to the potty, but if I'm not reminding him he wets himself. I would say he goes about 50% of the time in the potty, but poop is another issue. My kid could care less if he is sitting in a poopy diaper. I sometimes think he might actually prefer it! We will keep working on it and so many people have told me that when they are ready it will happen fast. I am hoping they are right!
Next up is Thanksgiving and spending time with all of our family. We are so blessed to have such a big family and I can't wait to see everyone and eat some delicious food!!!

Another Year in the Books

Today marks three years of marriage for Morgan and I. Three years of laughter, tears, smiles, grouchiness (mostly on my part), decisions, and most of all lots of memories! The last three years have not been all rainbows and butterflies, but I can honestly say that I married an amazing man. He is so kind and will do anything for his family. I am one lucky girl and I am so blessed with the life I have.

To celebrate our three whole years, we dropped the little man off with Papa and Mama and headed out for a nice quiet dinner. I haven't had sushi since Morgan broke it to me that those orange things weren't really finely chopped carrots! I decided to be brave and try it once again. I really loved it in the past, but my mind kept getting in the way of trying it again. We headed over to a little resturant named Ichiban. We ordered a few different rolls (my fav was the shrimp tempura roll, minus the eggs) and the New Mexico roll (basically a chili relleno wrapped in seaweed). I am chopstick incompetent and the waitress took forever to bring a fork so I decided to be all kinds of classy and just use my hands, reminding my husband that he married me for better or worse! 

kind of dark, but it's a beautiful coral color

We finished off our evening by stopping by Bootbarn to look at boots for our little man. We are doing family pics in a couple of weeks and I want Tanner to match his daddy. While we were there I found the necklace I have been looking for for months! My hubby made my day by getting it for me and I cannot wait to wear it for our pictures. It is so pretty and just perfect.

And we found Tanner the perfect boots, but needed the booger there to try them on! Guess we will make another trip this weekend.

I am so blessed and thankful that I found a partner and a best friend! We may not always like each other, but I will always love this man with my whole heart! Here's to many more years and lots of memories! 

Long Time, No Blog. . .

It feels like forever since I have written a blog entry. We have been so busy lately and the terrible two's are in full force around here. Any chance I have to myself I use to decompress in the tub or with some mind numbing form of reality tv. To say I am exhausted in an understatement! The last few weeks have been filled with laughter, adventure, some tears (mostly from Tan, but some from me because of Tan), firsts, visits from great old friends and wedded bliss! I love this time of year and try to get out as much as possible before the cold weather comes. You are about to be photo bombed with some of the things that have kept us so busy the last few weeks! Enjoy!

 

We started off October with the Balloon Fiesta! My dad was able to get tickets from work this year and we got the VIP treatment. Free food, great parking, and free admission. Morgan couldn't make it this year, so I went with my parents, Tanner, and my Grandma aka "Mama Nene".  We had such a great time and I was so happy to have been able to share it with my grandma and my sweet little boy.

We also got to visit with one of my great friends from college, her husband and two adorable kiddos. I have missed Erin so much and seeing her made me wish she didn't live so far away. Tanner and her son Cameron got along so good and her beautiful daughter Evie, made the baby fever I've been suffering from hit an all time high!!  I wish I would've gotten pictures of all the kiddos together!

Tanner and I have been hitting up "Toddler Time" at the Corrales Library. I am trying to get him around more kids his age and this has been really fun for both of us! He has met some new friends and I have met some new mommy friends as well! We both really look forward to Wednesday mornings! Oh, and Tanner has totally grasped the concept of checking out books! He thinks it's the coolest thing ever to get new books every week!

Every year since Tanner has been born we have gone to a local pumpkin patch. It's great because it's free and money goes to a great cause. We have taken a family picture there every year so I am so excited to do one this year. Getting daddy there is the issue. The man works so hard at work and when he comes home there is always a project waiting (my honey do list of pintrest projects is getting out of hand, but he is such a good sport).  We made it to the patch this year with my mother in law, sis in law, and my niece Gemma.  The kiddos had a blast and my inlaws were in pumpkin heaven!!

Since the weather has been so nice lately, we have been going out as much as possible. Every week we meet up with my sister in law and Gemma to feed the ducks at Tingly Beach. It's not really a beach, mostly fishing ponds, but it is a lot of fun. There are tons of ducks and geese that scare the living crap out of me! Last week Gemma was not feeling it so they had to leave, but Tan and I decided to head over to the aquarium and botanical gardens. It was really nice spending time with him just the two of us. We looked at fish (aka "tish" and "sharps" sharks) and then went for a walk looking at all of the plants. It is kind of sad when all the flowers stop blooming and the trees begin to lose their leaves, but makes for good conversation about what colors things are. We had a great time together and I am hoping to take him a few more times before everything dies.




They have already started setting up for the river of lights

and this was Tanner's favorite!

Finally for our "first". . . Tanner caught his first fish!!!! Morgan decided he and Tan needed a boys day and headed down to the river for some catfishing.  I was more than happy for that boys day because my mommy and I needed a shopping day desperately!!  I got a call from Morgan saying I better get ready cause we were having catfish for dinner (yuck)!   Tanner was so proud of his fish that they had to keep because it swallowed the hook.  He was a little freaked out with the "whiskers", but still talks about his fish from the agua!

Tan and I have also been trying to get our butts in gear and run everyday. We usually run at a park, but going in a circle has gotten a bit boring. We decided to head down to the bosque and on Monday we were joined by my aunt. She doesn't run so we walked, VERY fast! That lady kicked my butt! I don't know why walking fast is so much harder for me than running, but it is!!! It was so beautiful on our walk and with a view like the one below, how can you not smile!

And FINALLY, last weekend we got to see my cousin marry her Prince Charming!!! It was such a fun, laid back wedding! She looked amazing and was the happiest I have ever seen her! The food was delicious and my little ladies man was in heaven with all the little girls to flirt with!!

He likes them older!

The music was great and they played almost all of Tan's favorites! The boy danced non stop!! He was so excited to dance with the bride! 

When we had to leave he threw the biggest, laying on the ground kicking and screaming fit!!! He hadn't napped all day and had eaten way too much cake and giving a two year old seven up was the dumbest idea I have had in a long time!  The ride home was NOT fun and neither was the "I'm never going to sleep again" rest of the night we had! He was on a sugar detox all of Sunday!!

Our weeks have been crazy busy, but oh so much fun! I am really loving this age (minus the tantrums and the mindset of my way or the highway). We are trying to figure the whole terrible two's out, but from what I've seen it could be worse and I am pretty lucky with the kiddo I have.

I love spending my days with this little cutie! I cannot wait to see what adventures and fun we will have the rest of the month! I am so excited for the next couple of weeks! Halloween and our Anniversary. I cannot believe October is almost over! Where has the time gone?

Mom's Night Out: Birthday Edition

Last Saturday, I was surprised with an awesome night out with some great friends to celebrate my turning another year older! They had mentioned to be ready at five and to wear a dress and heels, but that was all I was told. I panicked, hoping that the dress I had in mind (pre Tanner) still fit.  Thanks to Spanx and lots of running a few days prior, it fit!!! Sarah and Brittany picked me up and made the trek to the other side of town. To my surprise we ended up at Saint Clair Winery!  I had been wanting to try this place for so long! Now, I am not really a wine drinker, but I want to be so I was excited to try something new! Kim joined us there and it was so nice to see these ladies in a different setting. Like an eat with two hands, no breaking up brawls, and being able to talk freely without little ears around! Kim was great at explaining wines and helped me pick the perfect one! Dinner was amazing, but the company was even better!

After dinner Brittany, Sarah, and I headed over to the Que Bar. It was definitely an experience and  Brittany's words "Man our girls nights are getting lame" pretty much summed up our time at the bar! Sadly her words were true! This bar seemed to be for the older crowd that think they are still in their twenties and dress like they are too! The music was too loud and nine o' clock rolled around and you could see that we were about ready to call it a night, some might say lame, but when you have a toddler you can understand! We had some laughs over a creeper scanning the room for some action and when it didn't happen, he had a great time on the dance floor by himself. The guy had moves we had never seen before! I tried to get Sarah to go and dance with him, but she didn't go for the $5 I offered her! All in all we had such a good time and laughed a lot!!!

Thanks again for a great night ladies!

Learning to Embrace Who I Am Today

In just a few short weeks I will hit the big 27! Twenty seven!! Holy cow, I used to think that was so old. I don't feel old, but then it hits me when I run into former preschool students I taught and they are in mid school! When I was younger I thought I had a plan and knew where my life would be. I was totally wrong. My life now is nothing like the planned life I once dreamed of. I thought for sure I would be teaching young minds, wearing heels, having a toned body, traveling the world during summer break, and falling madly in love with my prince charming (that part actually happened), oh and being a mommy. God knows being a mommy was at the top of that list and I'm proud to say that that actually happened too! My life isn't exactly where I thought it would be, but in so many ways it is better than I could have ever imagined. The last three years of my life have been the best years of my life. For one, I married my best friend and also was blessed with the most amazing gift from God, my little boy.

I chose a new path once my son was born. A path I never thought I would, but one that I am learning to embrace. I chose to put my teaching dream on hold for a bit in order to raise my son and although I miss teaching and financial stability at times, I know it was the best decision I have ever made. Ever since baby wearing heels only happens on special occasions and then I spend the next day complaining. The toned body that I used to complain about (yes the college me used to think I was fat at a stinkin' size 2! Oh to be that 2 again) is gone. Having a baby isn't so easy on bodies! I am critical on myself on a good day so gaining 37lbs was not the greatest experience of my life. I lost all my baby weight fast, but things are NOT the same and some things are not where they used to be! The jiggle isn't so fun either, but I am trying my best to embrace my new size 6 (which I have to keep reminding myself isn't bad at all) curves and not beat myself up for enjoying some sugar or skipping a workout. I read a blog a few days ago that really inspired me. She was talking about body after baby and how she has learned to embrace it. One quote really struck a cord with me "The love handles on my back represent the times I chose to enjoy ice cream with my family". I usually feel guilty for eating dessert, but I love it and believe me dieting Melinda is not a nice person. I would rather enjoy my time and have the damn ice cream every once in a while than miss out on fun times with my boys for fear of an extra pound. Now, I am not saying I'm letting go of all control. Do I want falt abs, yes, but am I going to make myself and my family miserable to get them no. I'll do my best and work hard, but still enjoy my life and view workouts as fun and something I want to do instead of something I am forcing myself to do. There are many times when I look in the mirror and feel disgusted or down on myself. I am trying my best to look at those imperfections and turn them into a positive. When I see the stretch marks on my belly I try to remind myself of the miracle that I grew in my belly. They are proof of what I accomplished and the blessing of life. My surgery scar that is not fading in color (I mean it's purple and gross) is a reminder of the lengths I went to in order bring our next child into the world as safely as possible. My not so perky boobs remind me of the nutrients that my son received for 18 months (now someday those will be fixed. Been saving my change haha).

I have never traveled the world, heck I can count the states I've been to on one hand. I did get to experience the big city this summer and liked it, but prefer good old New Mexico! We may not be world travelers, but my husband knows our state like the back of his hand from all of his years hunting and has taken me to some beautiful places that I didn't even know existed!

My life now is different than the one I dreamed up when I was 18 and will probably be nothing like what I imagine it will be in ten years. I am thankful for the experiences that have made me who I am. I am so happy that my "first love" broke my heart. If he hadn't I would've never met Morgan and wouldn't be watching my baby boy sleep right now. I am happy that I let go and let God lead me down the path that he has. Sometimes I question the path that I am on. Am I making the right choices? Am I good enough? I play the what if game. Sometimes I question God and the path he has sent me on. I question "why me?" But, ultimately I have to embrace the here and now and know it's all part of a bigger plan. I have to let go. I may not be a size two, not everyone will like me, I can't please everyone all the time without making myself crazy in the process, I may not have a ton of money. My clothes isn't the trendyist as I choose to recycle my wardrobe so that I can spend my money on my boy. I am embracing that fact that I have and will make many more mistakes on this motherhood journey. I have decided to be the best me I can for the remainder of 26 and learn to love and embrace myself, mind, body, everything in my 27th year. I need to find my faith again and live my life for God and my family and embrace the journey that is set for me with open arms.

My Special Date

Morgan has been working crazy hours lately because of very tight deadlines. We haven't seen much of each other in past couple of weeks which has been hard on both of us. My husband has the biggest heart sometimes though. Last Wednesday, after working a 10 hour day, he got a call from a friend who's mom lives with 2 other very elderly women about some electrical problems. One of the ladies was on oxygen so electricity that was iffy was not a good thing. Morgan rushed over and temporarily fixed it until he could get to it the next day. When he got home he surprised me and asked if I wanted to have a picnic date with him and our little man. I of course said yes! I heard him rustling through the fridge and soon we headed out to the perfect spot. We drove for about 45 minutes and were in the middle of nowhere without a soul in sight and looking at an amazing view. I love New Mexico for the simple fact that you don't have to go far to feel alone.  Morgan uses this spot for target practicing and actually took my dad and brother there to shoot when he asked my dad to marry me (gutsy guy, but shows his manly side haha). 

Beautiful view

Morgan fired up the hibachi grill and put steaks on for us! Not bad for a picnic in the middle of nowhere! He grilled me a t-bone and himself an oryx steak. I'm not big on wild game, but it was actually really good!

The little man dined on mac n cheese laced in a little dirt (Morgan saying is "God made dirt, so dirt don't hurt"). I went with it because he seemed to really enjoy it.

Now most people wouldn't think of this a date or even a very good date, but it was the best date I've been on in a very long time. I was with the two people I love the most in this world, eating a delicious meal, and taking in the most beautiful sunset. Watching Tanner chase bugs and copying everything his daddy did was  the best entertainment. Wednesday night was better than any fancy shmancy place Morgan could have taken me.

My two loves! This was actually really high and gave this momma a slight heart attack!

  I love how simple things can mean so much. I love when he surprises me like this and it makes me fall even more in love with him, if that is possible!

Tanner's 2nd Birthday Party

Last weekend we celebrated Tanner's 2nd birthday! Last year we did the huge, invite everyone party. We both have huge families so it was a wedding reception sized event. This year we wanted to keep it a little more low key and less stressful. We had our parents and close friends over for a BBQ and swimming fun for the kiddos! It was perfect!!! We had such a great time and are so blessed to have so many people, family and friends, who love our little boy.

Here are some of the highlights of the day!



I still can't believe my baby is 2!



The party favors and flowers from our garden

The tractor cake and oh my it was good!

We set up a kiddie pool for the little ones and before any of us had time to put actual suits on our kids, they were in. We dubbed it Diaper Derby 2012.  They had a blast and everyone got along!

Hello. Anyone there?





"Gunkle" Tony hanging with the boys!

 Present opening was interesting this year.  Tanner was so excited and wanted to open and start playing with everything right away! The other kiddos were also very excited about helping him open his gifts which was fine with me cause I got a break! Tanner made out like a bandit! He is fully stocked on cars and tractors and even got his favorite movie Cars!

Books!!!

What's in here Braylon!

Morgan had a good time too being the human jungle gym!

This has to be my favorite picture of the day! Braylon pulling a sag! To say he enjoyed himself is an understatment! He is jus too cute!

All in all we had a fabulous day! My son's smile made the whole day even more special! My heart is a little sad as I realize how fast the last two years have gone by! I pray for many, many more special days with my boy! 

Happy Birthday T!