A December to Remember

December is always a time of family, stress (which sometimes go hand in hand), food, LOTS of food, and the most important the celebration of our Lord.  This December started out very stressful for me. I stressed about how we were going to afford presents on one income, stressed with the fact that my car was minding its own business in my driveway and was hit by the neighbors runaway jeep and the fact that the neighbor is pretty much a douche bag, enough said there. Then there was the camera incident of 2011. Even with all the stress I was shown the true meaning of Christmas. This year was Morgan's year to see his family. We switch off each year and his family lives in Northern NM. It was hard being away from mine, but we had an awesome time in good old Espanola!  We started our Christmas Eve off at the outlets in Santa Fe where my hubby surprised me with a trip to the Coach store. He told me he wanted me to have something nice and let me pick out whatever I wanted! The sales were so good that we left with not one, but two beautiful purses for less than we would have paid for one at Dillards! SCORE! Then we headed to  his Dad and Stepmom's house. We ate, watched Tan open tons of presents, and had the best eggnog ever! One glass had me pretty tipsy!  Then we went to Morgan's Aunt's house and spent the rest of the evening with cousins, aunts, uncles, and his grandma! Tanner thought he was a big boy and wanted to keep up with all the big kids!

Christmas day brought lots of Santa presents for Tanner. He was obviously a good boy! His favorite by far was his Green Bay Packers chair and the wrapping paper roll!  We enjoyed, or tried  to enjoy mass, but church with a one year old is hard. Tanner loves clocks, but can't quite say the word, so all through mass we screamed "cock"! I was about 10 shades of red, but all you can really do is laugh. Finally, it was my families turn. We had lunch with my familia at my aunts house. This year the adults decided to do a white elephant gift thingy and let me tell you I have not laughed that hard in so long! I think this may be a new traditions! I also got my baby fix, or should maybe caught the fever, because I met my brand new baby cousin Jaxon. He is a doll!  We ended the night at my inlaws where we had a feast of tamales, beans and cookies.  We enjoyed the football game and I got to see my Bears lose, again!

All in all our holidays were amazing. Seeing Christmas through Tanner's eyes was the most amazing thing. He was so excited and next year will be even better! Sometimes having such big families is hard, especially trying to fit everything in, but then again it is amazing to have so much love and support around us! The gifts were great, but honestly just being around those that I love was the best gift of all and the memories made will never be forgotten!

Here are a few pictures from the big day!

This makes a nice seat!

Are these all for me?

sitting in his "crackers" chair!

fun with grandpa Doug!

Christmas is tiring, but auntie Diana is pretty comfy and doesn't even mind my hand down her shirt! Told everyone I was a boob man!

One of Those Weeks

This has been a rough week for this tired mama.  The Christmas hustle and bustle is a little too much to handle. I have so much to do and am running out of time and patience. Tanner is first off amazing, but this amazing kid seems to be into everything lately! He likes to climb and play with things that could possible kill him. The huge toybox is lame ya know!  He is also cutting two molars and is a snot and droll machine (most of that ends up on his dear old mama).  Along with teething comes Mr. Clingy who needs to be attached to me at ALL times.  If I have to pee, the wee ones world crashes around him. Showering? What's that?  My hair is a grease ball and I'm pretty sure my husband would rather sleep on the couch than have to catch a whiff of my ever so pleasant, actually BO ridden self. Okay, I'm exaggerating, I don't smell that bad, Febreze is a god send!

This morning was the kicker though. Last night I baked beautiful cookies (more on that next blog) and decided to document the process with the awesome camera I got 2 Christmas's ago. Well stupid me left camera on counter, where I thought the mini me couldn't reach it. Boy was I wrong. As I'm getting his yogurt out of the fridge I hear a bam! And low and behold my prized possession is on the floor. I'm horrified to admit this, but I yelled. He cried. Then I cried for yelling at my baby.  My lens was crushed and dented and my heart was broken. Mom of the year right? I picked up both of my babies and just cried, called hubby and admitted I'm overwhelmed and then decided to just cuddle my love and hope that he forgave me (which he did and I'm not even sure he remembers the incident).  Soon after he went down for a nap and I sat and stared at him and cried some more.  I realized that yeah it sucks that my camera may be broken, but who cares it can be replaced, my kid cannot. Then I start thinking about all of those you wish to be parents and cannot for various reasons and I felt like a total ungrateful biotch for making a big deal out of something so small and taking my son for granted (if you haven't noticed I tend to over analyze EVERYTHING).  Hard days are a part of parenthood and I need to learn to embrace them.   A good friend of mine told me to "just keep smiling, because these are the moments we will look back on and smile the most about".   So with that said, I'm gonna keep on smiling and enjoying every moment (even the my claim to fame is breaking stuff, teething and boogers) with the greatest son anyone could ask for!

Love you, Tan Man!!

How can you stay mad at this face?

Hives

Well my poor baby boy had some type of weird allergic reaction to, well we aren't exactly sure. It started Monday night with a few bumps on his arm. I wasn't alarmed and thought maybe his shirt was rubbing weird. The next day he had them on his butt and legs, but they faded fast. Well, Tuesday after his afternoon bottle the poor boys face was covered in mosquito like bumps from under his eyes to his neck! I freaked, ran for the benadryl and called the nurse hot-line. After my hubby calmed me (basically calling me crazy) I gave him a bath and he seemed fine. Well then this morning came along and his poor booty was covered again and his face looked swollen. I decided to bite the dust and pay the $40 copay and make a visit to good old Dr. Walsh. She seems to think that changing brands of milk or eating goldfish crackers (wheat?) could be the culprit. So now we are going to go back to our old stand by Creamland milk and will be using my new best friend Benadryl for the next few days. I should have taken some pics, but I'm sure little man would hate me for it when he's a moody teenager!  Hoping I have a welty free kid tomorrow!

Out Of My Comfort Zone

A few weeks ago my friend Sarah and I were talking during one of are "breaks" (those of you who are teachers know that there are no real breaks through out the day, just some moments of peace and quiet to cram as much as possible in, but I digress)  at work about how we needed to step out of our comfort zone a little fashion wise.  We decided that on "jean day" we would wear our new boots tucked into our pants (a look that I was convinced I couldn't pull off). Well we kept our word and (well she did and as we made our way to my classroom she made me tuck my jeans in) tried out a new style. It was different, but after a few compliments I felt more at ease. We decided that a shopping trip to find new styles was in order so we got the help of our very fashionable friend Brittany to help us out.  So today was the day of our big shopping extravaganza! We hit up the mall, babies in tow and went crazy!!! First stop Old Navy. I am proud to say I purchased my first pair of skinny jeans and my butt actually looks good, like I have a butt (maybe my ass kicking by Jillian Michaels every morning is paying off)! Sarah found a really cute shirt and Brittany (who looks amazing in everything) found a lot of cute things! Next stop Forever 21 and holy cow, jeans for 9 bucks! I found two really cute wrap thingy's and a really nice sweater at Dillards. All in all our trip was a success! I have a new outfit for Thanksgiving and a greater appreciation for trying new things.  It helped to have friends give the yay or nay  and know that we are all struggling with body image issues, especially after having the kiddos! Now I am thinking we need another shopping day sans babies and lots of margaritas!

This cutest shopping buddies around (the one on the left is responsible for the not so toned mommy tummy and lack of booty, but he sure is cute and worth every stretch mark and scar! Love that kid!

Happy 2nd Anniversary!

Two years ago today was one of the best days of my life! Although our outside wedding had to be moved indoors because of extreme cold, it couldn't have been more perfect!  We had such a wonderful time with family and friends and each of us got to spend a perfect moment with the grandparents we soon lost.  All in all it was a day filled with fun, laughter, happy tears, food, great music, family and friends! I still can't believe that it was two years ago.  We have had so many changes in those two years, but the best changes anyone can ask for! I love my life and my family and am truly happy and blessed! I need to remember to thank God everyday for this life!

Some pics from the big day!

Here's to many more years of happiness, love, and hopefully more adorable babies! I love you Morgan and thank you for making me so happy and being an amazing husband and father. You work so hard for our family and I know I don't thank you enough for all of your sacrifices that you make so I can be the kind of mother that I want to be. I love and appreciate you everyday of my life!

15 Months and This Time Last Year!

I can hardly believe it when I say it! Tanner is 15 months (was on the 27th)! He is growing so fast, but this is honestly the best age! He is becoming more independent and picking up new words everyday (kinda scary considering mine and his daddy's foul mouths).  He has given our family so much joy over the past year and he has touched so many lives.  I am so in love with my little flirt and am in awe of the kid everyday!

My big boy!

Here are some new things Little Man is up to:

*Starting to walk, but still has the drunk homeless man look
*LOVES food, his new fav is broccoli (twees), he loves spaghetti, yogurt, any kind of meat, fruit, cheese, but loathes potatoes!
*Loves animals and can make the sound for cows, bears, dogs, and ducks
*His favorite place Sam's Club. He loves getting samples and there is so much to look at.
*He is still in 12 month clothes. He is swimming in 18 months.
*He can find his nose, ears, head, pansa (tummy), and foot (we were working on eyes until he tried to blind me, gonna wait a while longer for that one)
*Tanner now knows 15 words and we are working on teaching him both English and Spanish words. He is doing really well and knows agua/water, pansa/tummy, and frio/cold
*Tan is a huge flirt and blows kisses NON STOP to any woman we see when we are out and about, and loves giving high fives to dudes. No stranger danger in this kid!
*He is DEATHLY afraid of balloons! One comes near him and he screams and shakes! We're trying to break it, but he may be a weirdo on one of those "face your fear" talk shows one day

There have been so many changes in the last year.  Last year at this time he was so tiny. I am so excited to see him experience the holiday season this year. I feel like a kid again!  Here are some pics over the last year so you can see how much this dude has changed! Enjoy!
                                                                         

My tiny little pumpkin last year!

This year!

mini scarecrow

cowboy silly face

Christmas gift?

Daddy and Tan with the "twacto"

2010 Family Pic!

2011 Family Pic!

The Scare

And a scare it was! A few weeks ago I went in for my annual poking and prodding of my lady parts (I need to mention that I still have PTSD from birth so this was NOT fun) and about a week later I got a call from my doctor saying that the results came back abnormal. She said it could be one of many things, but all I heard was cancer. She informed me that I would need to come back in and have a biopsy done of my cervix (the cervix that is not long enough to begin with and caused me to have a very high risk pregnancy).  I pretty much freaked out and convinced myself that I had cancer and was terminal or I would never be able to have another baby. I didn't sleep for two days and just stared at my son sleeping wondering how long I would have with him and then on the other hand feeling very sad at the idea that I may never be able to feel a life growing inside of me again.

 So, the following Monday I went in for the biopsy with my husband at my side. He is amazing and has gone through so much with me that he probably doesn't or never wanted to see (sorry that you got the girl with the messed up lady parts). He held my hand through the AWFUL procedure and wiped my tears as I asked the doc if I was dying. Luckily, she said no, but the results would take two weeks to come back. For two weeks I was in a state of panic and it was really bad if I was woken up in the middle of the night. My mind would run crazy and the anxiety would build until I had to get up and watch some meaningless reality tv just to get my mind off possibly dying.  God must have heard my prayers because on Wednesday when I spoke to the doctor she said everything was FINE, no cancer, just a false reading. I will have to be checked every six months now (yay, NOT), but I have a clean bill of health! Oh and the best part, I can still HAVE BABIES!!! I need to wait at least six months before we start trying, mainly so I can get checked again, but then we are free to make a sibling (hopefully a sister) for Tanner! I am so thankful to my wonderful doctor! She is amazing and has taken such good care of me (craziness and all)!

I am also writing this blog to inform women about how important it is to get your annual exam. I go every year. Last year all was well and then this happened. I am so thankful that it was not cancer, but am also so happy that if it had been it would have been caught extremely early and able to be fixed. God works in mysterious ways, he has a way of making you look at life and really seeing what is important. Because of this, I am a better mom, wife, daughter and friend. No one knows what the future holds so living each day to the fullest is my new outlook on life! I pray for continued health and the ability to have and carry another child/children in my belly!

My two most important reasons for living! Love these boys so much!