Teething... Enough Said

The past 24 hours in the Dean household have been challenging! Tanner, like usual, is having a really hard time with the two new pearly whites waiting to make an appearance. Fussy days and sleepless nights are not fun. I always try to think about how lucky I am to have such a healthy, (usually) happy, adorable baby, but yesterday I found myself really frustrated and exhausted. To make matters worse Morgan was fishing with my dad and father in law as I was having my mommy meltdown. After four hours of trying to get Tanner down for the night and becoming a human pacifier, the boy was finally asleep. As I looked over at him laying next to me so peaceful, I again realized how lucky I am. Every mom has the right to have a bad day now and then, but seeing my baby cuddled up to me made the hours of screaming and being on my hip worth it. I felt so guilty for feeling frustrated with him and even shed a few tears. I love my boy more than life and am in awe of him every day. God gave me the most amazing gift, a little boy who is perfect in my eyes (teething and all).  Here's to a better day and hopefully a more restful night (this may require a famous "Doug" margarita at the in-laws tonight, don't judge me)!

Vampire baby no more, top front teeth finally came in! Now on to the others, Yay (NOT)!

Days Numbered

My days of being a stay at home mommy are numbered. First off let me say that being home with Tanner has been the most amazing time of my life! I thank my husband so much for working so hard and providing for our family so that I could fulfill my dream of being home with Tanner. I would not trade this past year with Tanner for anything. Thankfully, my transition into working mom will be temporary. I am going back to my wonderful school to take over for a friend as she becomes a mommy to baby number two! I will be  back full time for six weeks and I have varying emotions on it! On one hand I am so happy to be doing what I love (even though 1st graders scare the crap out of me), working with a great staff, knowing my baby will be in great hands, feeling like the "old me", and being able to help Morgan out with some of the finances. On the other hand I am feeling completely overwhelmed by the fact that I will be leaving my little boy. The 12 days that we were separated while he was in the NICU were the hardest days of my life and although I know this is totally different, I don't ever want to feel that sadness again. I think my separation anxiety is worse than my sons! I KNOW he will be okay, hell he's with Grammie and and Grandpa, but my heart breaks thinking of all the things I will miss out on! I know, I know six weeks will fly and once I settle into a routine, I know I will love being back!

So, I'm taking this opportunity as a test run to show myself that it is possible to cut the cord and regain a little bit of me! My biggest fear of diving back into teaching is getting pregnant again and feeling like I won't be able to give my next baby the same opportunity that Tanner has had, or having to leave my job again! Leaving was one of the hardest things I had ever done (probably easier than leaving Tanner though). I am by no means trying for a sibling for Tanner, but have a feeling it will happen if I were to go back full time (just my luck)! I guess I need to just put the future into God's hands and know that whatever happens, job, baby, etc. is all a part of his will and I will cross that bridge when I get there! For now I am looking forward to teaching again and also dreading leaving my boy, but know that this will be good for both of us and our family!
                                         Here's some momma and Tanner time daddy captured!

Jemez, New Mexico Aug. 2011

enjoying the nice cool air in the mountains!

Our Little Helper

My son, the kid with a million toys, refuses to play with any of them! Tanner is very in to "real" things that he sees me and his daddy using. Lately, Tanner has been very into cleaning! Yay for me, not so much for the dogs. He has discovered wiping down his tray after he eats, everyone else's face, but his own, and washing Otis's (one of our many dogs) face while Tanner is taking a bath. He is also loves using cleaning tools! The feather duster is the best invention EVER! He like the vacuum until we had a slight mommy running over his finger accident, and I repeat ACCIDENT! (You will be happy to know he got me back for this unfortunate event just keep reading. . .)

This thing is awesome! No more dust!

This bumbo is filthy! Sheesh, mom never cleans!

He loves dusting his toys, but still prefers the dogs! He army crawls on my floors and sweeps for me (such a good boy) and this past week he has discovered the fascinating world of laundry! He "helps" me put clothes in the dryer (more so he pulls them out as soon as I put them in), he loves demolishing folding clothes!

missing the basket

Serious laundry man!

I am not immune to the helping child. He actually loves working with his daddy and it is some of the more tender moments that melt my heart. Before Tan's party we had some home improvement to get done. A few walls needed touch ups and our bathroom door never closed right. As I was  walking down the hall I got a glimpse of Tan and his daddy discussing how to fix the door and snapped one of my favorite pics    

hmmmm. . . . this is hard work I think we need a cold one!

Last night I decided to bake (big no, no when your alone with a crazy one year old in the house). As I was mixing my muffins I turn around to see every skillet I own, spoons, and pans all over the kitchen and Tanner is so cleverly mixing imaginary food for the dogs in Walker's bowl! Cute, but not when he decides to smash your foot with a skillet!

Asking Daisy what she would like for dinner (this was taken before toe smashing incident of 2011)

  Long story short, my muffins sucked (forgot the baking soda, as I was more concerned with my throbbing toe so forgot one key ingredient) so the puppies get muffins for every meal for the next week!

Cleaning is hard work! 

So, I think I am training this boy pretty good, he likes cooking, cleaning, and fixing things. Let's just hope he is this willing to help when he is sixteen!